Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
