I think I am morally bankrupt
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
