it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
