There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
