i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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