been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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