oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Randomize
