I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
