He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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