flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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