apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
