i just wanna soil my oats bro
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
