Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
