you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
