there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
