he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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