You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
