I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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