She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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