Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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