Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
