I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
