found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
