So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
