I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
