It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
