the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
