Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
