If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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