He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize