when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
