FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
