Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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