You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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