she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
