Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
