Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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