Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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