I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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