it was like his penis was on wheels.
handjob tips. give me some.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
