would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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