You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
