Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im holly from the hills drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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