I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
