Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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