Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize