Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize