is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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