If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize