is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
