So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just had sex bonerless
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
