Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
