I want to stick my p in your. b.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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