Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
