So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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