I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
