You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize