I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
