Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
