Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize