i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
